Friday, December 03, 2004
[ D r i f t e d ]
It's easy to see how something drifts away so easily... like it never happened... like it was never there... like it was just a bad dream... a web i got caught in...
i looked at the face of a demon... and i fell for it...
he impressed me... he made me think... he challenged me... pushed me to my limits... and made me realize what i can do... he made me know myself...
he was a brother... and i missed my brother...
it was yet another weakness... a weakness i had no right to claim... an enemy i had no right to contend with... an established community i had no right to belong to...
i didn't understand... i didn't believe in what they believed in... i didn't like their ethics... they were the complete opposite of what i knew... of my philosophies...
he was part of that community... he was my enemy...
yet we were so much alike... in so many ways... i didn't know why...
i made him laugh... he made me laugh...
he impressed me... i impressed him...
what was wrong...
he was a secret out in the open... driving in the streets at night...
he was an epitome of greatness...
i was longing for something to draw inspiration from... i was longing for something to focus my attention to... i needed someone to look up to...
but i didn't mean him... i didn't... he was just an object of envy before... an object of hate... vanity... pride... perfectionism... all those things i abhorred...
all those things... i still attribute to him... but now... in my mind... he earned it... he earned it so well... he was a vulnerability...
he was everything i wanted to be... he was everything i wanted to have... he was a damn vulnerability...
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by Schulerin 9:27 PM
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